He's small, suddenly, with messy hair and pudgy little cheeks, sitting on top of one of the machines, chin on his little fist. His bright green eyes are exactly the same.
"But I haven't even got him to try winning me over, yet. He's been asleep a bunch."
He can't help that the small sulky child has his smile going lopsided.
"Knowing you would come if I needed is worth more than what you can do about Peter. It's also a greater revenge."
He looks to that small child.
"Peter has ever longed for me to look to him, to call him my best friend, to see him as my shining sun. For a long time, I did. For a long time, he was my constant, the only one I knew I could hold to." He dips his head towards Kahl. "I have found better. One I trust. One I can count on."
The little boy's face twists around, like he's trying to handle a very sour piece of candy with dignity while stuffing it into the side of his cheek to work on more slowly. After a few more minutes he pops into the cat shape, who paces in a tight little circle on top of the machine.
Kahl has never been impressed by the sort of wishy-washy ideas about living well being revenge. But that's not what this is.
"Because it's what he wanted," he says slowly. "It's revenge because it's taking what he wanted most."
That he could almost believe, feels the resonating glimmers of inside him.
To be fair, it's much more complicated for Jamie. It's not just living well.
"And because it takes the form most abhorrent to him. A lover, a child, a life, a place: all these have I found, a man's life, forever away from him in which he takes no part. It is not merely that I have a life I will love well. It is that it is precisely what he has always feared he would lose me to, his greatest nightmare. It is all he could not prevent with all his machinations and all his tricks and all the dead boys he laid at my heart."
There's more than one way to twist the knife.
"And most important: I know you will help me protect it from him."
There's a moment when the image of him wavers and smears, not quite contained or described by the world, and then the little cat is jumping into Jamie's arms - or rather onto his chest, happy to hold on with claws if Jamie doesn't manage to catch him - butting his head against Jamie's chin, purring with a loud, bone-rattling rumble.
Jamie will catch him with a bright laugh and when the little creature snuggles into him, he will only hold him closer, and pet his fur with such reverence.
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Re: after the SH event
Re: after the SH event
"But you would have, if I had asked? If I needed?"
Re: after the SH event
He's small, suddenly, with messy hair and pudgy little cheeks, sitting on top of one of the machines, chin on his little fist. His bright green eyes are exactly the same.
"But I haven't even got him to try winning me over, yet. He's been asleep a bunch."
But he did try, skulking around in this shape.
Re: after the SH event
"Knowing you would come if I needed is worth more than what you can do about Peter. It's also a greater revenge."
He looks to that small child.
"Peter has ever longed for me to look to him, to call him my best friend, to see him as my shining sun. For a long time, I did. For a long time, he was my constant, the only one I knew I could hold to." He dips his head towards Kahl. "I have found better. One I trust. One I can count on."
Re: after the SH event
Kahl has never been impressed by the sort of wishy-washy ideas about living well being revenge. But that's not what this is.
"Because it's what he wanted," he says slowly. "It's revenge because it's taking what he wanted most."
That he could almost believe, feels the resonating glimmers of inside him.
Re: after the SH event
"And because it takes the form most abhorrent to him. A lover, a child, a life, a place: all these have I found, a man's life, forever away from him in which he takes no part. It is not merely that I have a life I will love well. It is that it is precisely what he has always feared he would lose me to, his greatest nightmare. It is all he could not prevent with all his machinations and all his tricks and all the dead boys he laid at my heart."
There's more than one way to twist the knife.
"And most important: I know you will help me protect it from him."
Re: after the SH event
Re: after the SH event
"Yes, yes, may I scritch your chin?"
Re: after the SH event
Re: after the SH event
"I hope you do," he says without an ounce of regret.