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[He hovers on the precipice of rage. He was ready, as perhaps none of Zerxus's other loved ones ever had been, to walk away, to revoke his mark and power, to abjure Zerxus completely if his own care were abjured first. He had, at a certain point, expected it. Zerxus was given to him, but he has never held a love of vengeance in his heart. Kahl is meant to be abandoned. He knows how to survive it, knows the shape of it. He was prepared to flay his love from Zerxus's shoulders and depart.

The fury of a spurned god-child is not an easy thing to quell back down, like a volcano faltering on the verge of pouring fire. He chokes and gurgles on his own smoke as the pressure starts to subside, as he very tentatively allows himself to believe what he has heard. His trust - perhaps, one might say, miraculously - is not broken, but at this moment it feels shaken.]

Four, then.

[And that's that.]

Edited 2025-09-05 17:00 (UTC)

[ That's that, and Zerxus makes sure to sever the feed before he rocks back into his chair like he's been kicked in the chest and dread curdles in his throat.

He hasn't been this viscerally afraid since Elias was thirteen years old; he hasn't been this profoundly shaken since he grasped the Mace of the Black Crown.

Somehow, he'd managed to wring comfort out of being damned, of being wretched and helpless with so little left to lose. It's kind of pitiful, now that he really looks at it. ]

[What!!! What. Make up your mind!!!

Is he supposed to -

He's allowed to be worried. He takes Zerxus at his word. He appears in Zerxus's cabin as a fat black magpie, flutters for a moment, then tucks himself wordlessly against the crook of Zerxus's neck.]

[ All of that coiled tension whips his head up almost violently, but the moment he registers that it's Kahl - he doesn't think about it, he just relaxes back into his seat, and lets him settle wherever he wants.

His hand rises to gently stroke his wing, and he sits like that for a while, his heart gradually steadying its pace. There's a faint tremor to his fingers; he's not ready to state his fear in plain words, but that doesn't mean he'll hide it.

It was different, confronting Asmodeus as he was on the Narrenschiff, severed from his pantheon and his world. ]

[Kahl doesn't say anything for a while. He'd - he'd been so ready, and he doesn't know what to do with all those feelings, with the plans that had sharped in his mind as quickly as shattered glass turning smoothness into sharp edges.

So much of Kahl's nature is about what it means to cross lines that can't be uncrossed. Zerxus backed away from one, and did cross another. He feels like his little bird ribs are full of summer storms.]

Thank you.

[Awkward, half-squawked, but clear.]

[ It sparks enough warmth in his chest to, at least for a little while, soothe the ragged edges of restless dread. ]

Thank you. For holding me to account.

[ For not letting him fail another - ]

Elias will be happy to see you.

I like him.

[Kahl didn't, technically, promise Elias anything. But he did tell him that he meant to help, and that's as good as the same thing, as far as Kahl is concerned. Elias isn't his, but he could have been.]

I'm glad.

[ This, at least, is an unmitigated positive to focus on. Elias didn't get the childhood he deserved, didn't get to maintain friendships and family the way he should have. ]

...Evandrin will take longer to convince. But not by that much.

[ His husband has no love for gods, and his skepticism of Zerxus's judgement is, well, certainly valid.

Arguing with Elias is a different matter entirely. ]

Edited 2025-09-23 05:13 (UTC)

[Kahl pecks at his horn, a sharp little tok. It doesn't hurt; Kahl himself hardly knows what he meant by the gesture.]

Maybe he should.

[ Well that gets an arched eyebrow, though the stroking doesn't still. ]

He should be worried about your motives? Your influence?

My actions.

I'm never going to be a nice god.

Exandria isn't a nice world.

[ He likes to believe it will be closer to that, one day, but it will never be perfect. People will always hurt and use and betray each other; people will always be lost, alone, forgotten.

There are just so many, right now, and Evandrin knows that almost as well as he does. ]

...What will you do, if someone wants vengeance on me? [ It would be righteous; it would be earned. ]

[Kahl grows heavier, then flops into Zerxus's lap as a cat.]

That depends on why they want it.

Elias's claim is greatest, though.

[ That gets a fully body flinch, though Zerxus's hand alights on Kahl to keep him balanced on that perch. ]

If it would help him, he should have it. [ Whatever form it takes. ] ...Avandra doesn't strike me as a jealous goddess.

I don't think he wants it.

[Not against Zerxus, anyway; not much; not enough to need Kahl's path.]

And that is his choice.

Anyway, you're a poor target. It is not as though you profited by the damage you did the world. It is not as though you lived in thoughtless, selfish pleasure and power by it. Anyone who wishes you to suffer for your folly is already well-fed. I might grant them the gift of knowing how much, if they wish it very earnestly.

[ It's not the relief it should be, which - goes to Kahl's point of self-martyrdom, probably. He'd feel better if Elias took some kind of retribution. (He feels better, just a little, every time Asmodeus tears him apart with Evandrin's hands.) ]

...Fair, I suppose.

[ There are only a few ways to make things worse, and he knows damn well Kahl wouldn't use Elias as a sacrificial pawn.

Which, actually, brings him to a good point: ]

Each of our gods has a set of three commandments - the most important tenets their followers should live by.

Edited 2025-09-24 19:41 (UTC)

[In some ways, a worse betrayal of Evandrin than all the others. But Kahl would have to meet him to have a better sense of it.]

Oh?

[His ears flick, and the feline puddle of him proving into a more attentive loaf shape.]

[ There's a song of retribution in Evandrin's heart, raw and desperate and viciously yearning, but even Zerxus knows that it isn't for him. ]

Yes. How to live your life, how to treat allies or enemies, how not to. [ He can give an overview of all of them, but there are two he knows by heart.

His cadence shifts, and even the strokes of his hands fall into a slower, gentler rhythm. ]

Lead with mercy, patience, and compassion. Inspire others to unite in fellowship.

Aid those who are without guide. Heal those who are without hope.

[ And finally, with an weary twitch of his hand and a wry one to his lips: ] Those who are beyond redemption, who revel in slaughter and remorseless evil, must be dispatched with swift justice.

[Kahl huffs.]

That's not justice, it's pest control.

Justice isn't her domain.

[ Isn't, or wasn't. He still doesn't know what it means to murder a god the way Asmodeus did and he hasn't tried to find out. ]

Very sensible.

Weird to mention it, though.

[ He pauses in his petting to boop Kahl on the nose. ]

It's just an example.

[He accepts the boop, but after he speaks, gets heavier in Zerxus's arms until he's the child again.]

Parents owe their children a life, not the other way around.

[Maybe it's not a broad enough application for what Zerxus is talking about. But it's a principle that's been on his mind.]

Edited 2025-10-01 00:33 (UTC)

[ Zerxus shifts easily, seamlessly, from holding a cat to holding a boy. ]

That definitely sounds like guidance a lot of people could stand to hear.

What cannot be borne must not be forgotten. What can be never be restored nor repaired must instead have a reckoning.

Do not be careless in your obligations to others. Honest enemies may make peace, but a false friend, who gives cruelty where they owe kindness, has earned the greater wrath.

[Parenthood is the greatest obligation, but not the only one.]

Re: Voice

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Re: Voice

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